


The Cult of Jade Harley

by NaughtyTypingIncoming



Series: Lewd Homestuck One-Shots [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (How do I tag that jade started a church?), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Cults, Earth C (Homestuck), F/F, F/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Pinups, Post-Game(s), Priestesses, Religion, Religious Cults, Sex Club, Tentacle Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29847591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyTypingIncoming/pseuds/NaughtyTypingIncoming
Summary: Nepeta, Aradia, and Feferi go to Jade's new church.Did I say church? I meant sex cult.It goes down about how you would expect.
Relationships: Nepeta Leijon/Aradia Megido/Feferi Peixes, Sollux Captor/Nepeta Leijon/Aradia Megido/Feferi Peixes (Minor)
Series: Lewd Homestuck One-Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816132
Kudos: 1
Collections: HSCCS Fall Promptfest 2020





	The Cult of Jade Harley

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [DeviousCreator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviousCreator/pseuds/DeviousCreator) in the [HSCCSFallPromptfest2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HSCCSFallPromptfest2020) collection. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a spiritual follow up to: [Waking Up With All Four Quadrants](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25503508) and may sort of take place in the same universe.

NEPETA: :// < i don't nyow about this...  
FEFERI: W)(at? Come on, it will be fun!  
NEPETA: :|| < are you pawesitive?  
ARADIA: definitely! this place is great, you'll see!  


Nepeta looked at her two roommates doubtfully. While they had put on modest get-up for the morning, she could not help but notice that their clothing seemed a bit more.... slutty than usual.  


NEPETA: :\\\ < if it's anything like gamz33s...  
FEFERI: No no!  


The sea dweller shook her head adamantly.  


FEFERI: Absolutely NOT)(ING like )(is services!  
FEFERI: )(ers are far gentler and forgiving!  
NEPETA: :?? < well, why isnt sollux going?  
SOLLUX: keep me 0ut 0f it  
SOLLUX: i'm n0t c0mf0rtable with that many pe0ple  


Aradia went over to him and kissed him gently.  


ARADIA: i know you are babe  
ARADIA: let me know if you change your mind  
ARADIA: you might be surprised  
SOLLUX: thx aa but, f0r n0w, i'll pass  
ARADIA: alright then, you ready nep?  


Nepeta wasn't sure, Sollux reluctance was assuring to know that she COULD say no but the offer was so tempting.  


NEPETA: :33 < fine.  
FEFERI: Yea)(! 38D *glub glub glub*  
FEFERI: Let's beat our feet, or we mig)(t not get seats!  


They made their way down from their shared apartment and began walking downtown. Earth C was a much different place now that the new Batterwitch was defeated. New systems had sprung up from the old, including new religions. Nepeta nervously asked her questions.  


NEPETA: :33 < so... is this a sex cult?  
FEFERI: 38O Nep!  
NEPETA: :?? < well is it??  
ARADIA: of course it is, a very FUN sex cult  
NEPETA: :33 < and you both want us to join?  
FEFERI: W)(ale, we are already in it.  
FEFERI: But we t)(oug)(t t)(at you would enjoy coming wit)( us!  
NEPETA: :33 < it just s33ms so... furward?  
NEPETA: :// < you would expect the people in charge there to be less obvious about it?  
ARADIA: why? there isn't anything to be ashamed about?  
ARADIA: people like sex and having a... religion? what's the term for it... support group! is perfectly natural!  
NEPETA: >:33c < natural huh?  


They walked in silence for a few more minutes, Nepeta wanting to ask more questions but feeling awkward about it. Sure, all four of them had fooled around for awhile now, but this seemed far more public than she was used too. Feferi pointed ahead.  


FEFERI: T)(ere it is! 38D  
FEFERI: O)( t)(is is so -EXCITING!!  


The building in question was pretty inviting, it was green with a few stain-glass windows. The images in the windows were eye-catching. Most, if not all of them, pictured their patron goddess, doing various acts, all pg so as not to completely set off the more, sensitive people. Not that they could do much to stop her, who was going to argue with Jade Harley setting herself up as a fertility goddess? No mere mortals. And the rest of the pantheon wasn't doing much to stop her either.  


They weren't the only ones to be heading to the building. There were all kinds of people, humans, other trolls, even a couple of capatrions and consorts. At the entrance was a couple of bouncers, wearing a green uniform that matched the building. They seemed to be stopping everyone and checking over ID's and asking a couple of questions. Some were turned away, and a few consorts, once apparently explained the situation, seem to lost interest.  


NEPETA: :?? < what are they doing?  
ARADIA: well they can't let minors in now can they?  
FEFERI: And I t)(ink t)(ey are also turning away families too. According to some )(umans I talked to, t)(at can be awkward. Yea)( like t)(ose people!  


A group of five similar looking humans, two adults and three smaller ones, had looked on in horror as one of the bouncers explained, then turned, and walked away rather quickly.  


FEFERI: I guess t)(ey t)(oug)(t it was just a c)(urc)(?  
ARADIA: seems to be a lot of people today  
FEFERI: It *is* a special occasion!  
ARADIA: oh right~  
NEPETA: :33 < whats the occasion?  
FEFERI: T)(at's w)(y we wanted you to come! T)(ere is going to be... a sacrifice!  
NEPETA: :?! < A WHAT!!?!  


But at that moment, the troll guard had looked over their ID's that Nepeta didn't remember handing them, gave them back and ushered them in. After jogging through a short green entrance hall, they came to a reception room. There were more attendance staff in the same uniforms as the guards outside spread about the place. They were talking to the people that came in, showing them to the bathroom, bringing them to the refreshment table, or kindly showing them to the set of two closed double doors. Between the doors was a small table with a few trinkets and pamphlets on it. Above which were three photographs of Jade in various poses that ranged from saintly to saucy.  


FEFERI: Come on!  
FEFERI: We need to get good seats.  
NEPETA: :?! < what was that about a sac-  
ARADIA: will tell you all about it when we sit down  
ARADIA: now lets fucking go!  


They hurried past the attendees and through one of the double doors, but Nepeta managed to snag a pamphlet as they passed. Inside the main sanctuary was... well nothing like a sanctuary. The stained glass windows on the inside had changed.  


What was from the outside, looked like Jade standing above Davepetasprite^2 holding up a ring, was actually them sucking Jade's dick. Another, Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam with Jade laying down peacefully between them holding hands, was all of them naked Kanaya kissing Jade's neck/drinking blood, Rose and Jade kissing, both of them with hands on Jade's breasts and pussies, nooks, and cock all on display and dripping. A third, had been showing Terezi Pyrope in flight with Jade as they welcomed back Vriska Serket. Now, it looked like Terezi taking Jade from behind with the goddess on all fours, sucking the bulge of Vriska in front. It should have been disturbing but Nepeta found it oddly exhilarating.  


The olive troll managed to tear her eyes away to look at the room properly. The room itself was a semi-circle dotted with chairs. She had expected pews, but instead, there was a miss-mass of comfortable seats, sofa's, and beanbags in somewhat row order. It was evident however, that whoever had set up the seats had given up half-way through and just made sure that they were all facing the forward. In the center was a raised platform with a large seat on it. Either side was a lectern with a dog symbol on the left and an atom on the right one. No one was at the chair or the podiums, but the general seating at the front was filling up quickly.  


FEFERI: )(URRY! Let's grab t)(at one!  


There was a three-seater couch to their right, about half-way to the platform. They swooped down on it, right in front of a couple of humans, who looked at them with a mix of annoyance and grudging respect, before they scooped up two squishy seats behind them.  


NEPETA: XOO < so tell me, what is this about a sacrifice!!!!  
FEFERI: Finnnnnneeee.  
FEFERI: We left you on t)(e )(ook long enoug)(.  
ARADIA: regular angry gods or whatever, often demand blood sacrifices to appease their wrath, right?  
NEPETA: :33 < y3333aahh??  
FEFERI: Jade, )(owever, demands a sexual sacrifice once a mont)(!  
NEPETA: :?? < what on earth c is a sexual sacrifice??  
ARADIA: oh you will see! were hoping that it will be you, that is why we brought you along :D  
NEPETA: >:OO < WHAT-!  


Feferi silenced the outburst with a tender kiss.  


FEFERI: Don't worry! It will be... ---ENTICING!  


Seeing that the other two were not going to give up anymore information, Nepeta consulted her pamphlet. On the cover was a candid photo of Jade, cropped just before you could see her nips. It was labeled as  


THE TEMPLE OF JADE HARLEY  
  
"this is the place to worship my body!! ;D" - _Jade 4:13_  
  
Meets Mondays at 10 am.  
  
Offering:  
Drinks  
Breasts  
Sex  
Secrets of the Universal Peace  
  
_Learn all about how you too can find yourself in the goddess in more ways than one!_  


That was one way to start a pamphlet. Upon opening it, a pin up picture of the goddess dropped out, like that of a fold-up center fold in some trashier magazines. She was in the nude, her dark skin against the green background, her hair spread all down her body past her toes. She was looking right at the camera so you could meet her face to face. The sumptuous smirk told that she didn't mind you looking and wanted you to keep looking at her for as long as you wanted. Her large breasts were particularly alluring, and her cock was... Nepeta looked away when she noticed and tried to concentrate on the first page of the pamphlet.  


Special Service  
The monthly annual "Virgin Sacrifice" will be held today. Bring someone that is close to you with you today (that you would not mind having sex with!). They could be chosen by Jade herself to become the center of today's proceedings!

The troll was interrupted by a lower base note. The small talk that had been filling the congregation lapsed into silence. Most of the seats had been filled and without Nepeta noticing, a speaker had ascended the platform and was behind the dog podium.  


She was a troll, garbed in green as the attendants wore. but as their caps had been at smart angles, and their uniforms professional. She had on loose robes that only barely covered her breasts and below, her legs stuck out and her shoulders were only covered by a single strap to keep up the outfit. It looked like it was hanging off her, as if any moment it could fall off leaving her naked.  


Calmly she waited for the hubbub to die down before she spoke into the microphone.  


SWIFER: Good day to you all  
CONGREGATION: And also with you.  


The priestess laughed and waved a hand at the assembly.  


SWIFER: thank you but none of THAT!  
SWIFER: we really need a better greeting don't we.  


The congregation laughed respectfully. There were even some titters from the back. Nepeta looked at her companions questioningly.  


FEFERI: (T)(ere's only been about two mont)(s of meetings so far.)  
FEFERI: (We're still working on t)(e call and responses and t)(ings.)  
FEFERI: (It is nice to know t)(at s)(e is only )(uman after all!)  


Before Nepeta could point out the inaccuracy of that statement, the priestess continued.  


SWIFER: with her sound defeat of the new Batterwitch, and no other gods coming forward to take up the slack of embracing who they truly are  
SWIFER: our goddess came to us to show us a new way  
SWIFER: as you all probably know, today is our third monthly sacrifice meeting!  


Cheers and claps from the audience.  


SWIFER: to select among you who should be sacrificed to our great goddess, jade herself will come out and select who it should be!  


More cheers. Aradia whispered to Nepeta this time.  


ARADIA: (it isnt that big of a deal, jade shows up to all of these but she likes to give the priests some experience doing the main service)  
ARADIA: (we will need it if we start having multiple temples)  
ARADIA: (jadeity is popping off!!)  
SWIFER: without anymore delay, here she is  
SWIFER: jade harley, witch of space and goddess of your soul  
SWIFER: may all you new potential members become as one with her today!  


The wooing, catcalls, and general jubilance was overpowering. Through the screams, Nepeta watched as a door behind the stage opened, and out walked the proffered goddess.  



End file.
